Train travel, like real estate, is about three things: location, location, location. Every morning the train stops at exactly the same spot at the station, so I stand right where a set of the doors opens so I can get inside and find a seat to my liking. (By the time I get on, it's a choice of middle seats in a three-seat row, but there are still degrees of middle seat badness.)
Unfortunately, this morning the train pulled a fast one on me, and by the time I got inside, my options were limited.
Unfortunately, I ended up sitting next to a fat man.
It was unfortunate, not because I dislike fat people, but because he was taking up half of the clearly defined area that was supposed to be for my rump. And for 40 minutes, we were cuddling. (And as I think I've mentioned before, I don't care for bodily contact in my strangers.) I don't mean to offend anyone*, but I think fat people should have their own trains.
* In case you are unfamiliar with these types of qualifiers, by opening a statement with "not to offend our alien overlords but ..." or "I have nothing against poor people but ..." one can say absolutely anything and not get in trouble. It's infallible. I dare you to fall it.
Okay, I don't honestly believe that fat people should have their own trains ... just their own cars.
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Your train stories are hilarious! I really liked this one because it happened to me on my train ride home today. (I realize the Charlotte train is on a much smaller scale than NYC, but the human behaviors seem to be very much the same.) I saw one last seat open and as I approached I knew only one cheek would fit, but hey, that's better than nothing. Once I arrived, I found that partial seat to be full of Subway sandwiches! My guess is that he is trying the Subway diet, so he can be the next Jared and have his own commercials. I must have looked very disappointed because the man quickly moved his sandwiches so I could sit my one cheek down. Ah, the joys of public transportation.
Perhaps one of my other favorites, man who loudly raps about Jesus and saving the ho's, will come back soon, or maybe he will come ride with you so you too can enjoy his message :)
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