Putting the sport in transport

I started classes last week, which isn't such a big deal except that it means that, after two months of driving no more than 15 miles a week since my office moved to NYC, I am driving regularly again, to and from class twice a week. Yesterday, I was reminded of all the reasons I don't like driving around New Jersey. But is commuting in a car worse than public transportation commuting? Here, I will decide once and for all, which is better: public transportation or driving.

Some of you know that I enjoy singing along to Les Miserables loudly and wonderfully. In the car, no one but me knows I'm pretending to be Jean Valjean. On the train I get stares, but is that going to stop me from singing along to the greatest musical ever? No. Point Car.

On the train, I can sit back and read a book or listen to music and drift in and out of consciousness. When I do either of those in my car, I tend to veer off the road and into on-coming traffic. Also, it's hard to turn a page with one hand on the steering wheel. Point Train.

In the car, I have plenty of room to spread out and I rarely have large sweaty people touching me. (Thought there was that one time when I pulled an Eddie Murphy ... ) On the train, unfortunately, I seem to attract the affections of large men. This is my curse. Point Car.

On the train, I do not have to worry about congestion except when we get around the tunnel, and even then it's not ME who is concerned with moving along. In the car, I have to deal with a mass of humanity trying to squeeze into three lanes of highway with idiots cutting one another off without any thought of others while my blood pressure slowly rises to a boil. Dealing with these ass clowns* takes the gentleman out of me. Two Points Train.

I have tried to keep this blog profanity free, but you try driving on the Parkway and leaving it a gentleman. Give me 5 minutes on the Parkway, I'll give you new and wonderful ways to offend the ears of God.

On the train, you are putting your time and life in the hands of a few others, whom you must assume are competent enough to get you where you're going. In the car, you are putting your life in the hands of thousands of people I am quite certain are not competent. Point Train.

Alright, by my count it's Train 4, Car 2. And I grow tired of counting, so that's the final answer. Public transportation forever.