On the way into New York, we had to make an unscheduled stop and pick up a swarm of people in Newark because of a broken down train in front of us. Naturally, this happened on a rare morning where I was able to sit in a three-person seat with just one other, normal-sized human. The herd of people - waiting on the platform they were about 4-5 rows deep - pushed their way in, and I saw the typical (there's that word again) types find seats in front of me.
And then I spotted him. I large man, sloppily dressed, out of breath, and moving towards me. As soon as I saw him, I knew he would end up sitting next to me. That is my luck; I attract fat dudes.
I let him into the middle seat, he took off his coat, and I smelled it. This was B.O. on an order I am not accustomed. Walking in Penn Station and riding on the subway, where homeless people often reside for hours, you will smell something like this. But an experienced commuter can avoid these smells; yesterday morning, I was pressed up against it like tootsie rolls in a pinata. And I prayed that someone would whack me free.
Naturally, I wondered how anyone who was ostensibly riding into the city for work could smell so bad, so early in the morning. Had he not showered? Had he worked up a sweat ... walking through the aisle of the train? What was this large fellow up to at 7:00? I decided to stop wondering and instead sit with my hand over my face, turned the other way, happily thinking back to times when I had experienced other questionable smells: Wading through liquid pig fat on Interstate 40 for a story? Not as bad. Driving through Richmond where it wreaks of sulfur? A meadow of pleasantness. Using the bathroom at any Bojangle's in America? I welcome a return visit. This man beat them all. Congratulations. I hate you.
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2 comments:
Thankfully, for everyone else on the train, he didn't stand and hold the balance control strap/bar above him. Thus, they were spared a "pit airing" calamity. You could have ended up with a worse situation as people started passing out and falling to the floor of an already packed train.
My husband & I have dubbed such people as "Mr. Stinky" and have come to the conclusion he follows us to every place there are a lot of people in close quarters.
If I were you, I'd start packing an odor control mask in my briefcase, laptop bag or backpack. Mr. Stinky can sneak up on you at the most unopportune moments :)
That is a great idea - I may have to start carrying one of the masks. I've seen people wearing them before and I assumed it was for health reason. I'm beginning to think it's about the stink.
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