Stop looking at me, you loveless loser

Being the incredible husband that I am, I picked up some flowers for my wife on the way home from the train station yesterday. From the time I left the store until I got home 7 minutes later, people shot me looks. There was the guy in the car who looked at me, his face seeming to say, "What a loser. He bought flowers for someone. I only have to pull up in my awesome sports car and invite a woman to my whites-only country club and I am golden." Then there were the middle-aged women, whose husbands have long since given up on romance. They each shot me a smile as if to say, " If only a hip young man would buy me some purple flowers. My thighs ache with hope." All of this is to say, do not buy flowers and then walk with them for a couple of blocks. Drive.