On board with a whiff

With the prospect of a four-day weekend thanks to Memorial Day, many people took Friday off. The trains this morning were pleasantly empty. However, that did not stop something odorific from happening to me on an otherwise beautiful Friday morning. In Orange a man sat down next to me, but I knew he was coming well before he sat down. No, I am not psychic. Through the power of smell, I sensed his imminent arrival. 

For some reason, after he had shaved this morning, he thought it a good idea to dunk his head in a large vat of aftershave. He then looked at himself in the mirror, said, "Lookin' good, sexy!" and walked to the train station. Once on the train, he stopped by the door to let every passenger slowly inhale his excellence before casually walking down the aisle, stopping occasionally to let those he passed take a nice, long whiff of his greatness. Seeing me, he turned into my seat and thought to himself, "This young man needs a pick-me-up. And my intense and splendid aroma is just the prescription he needs."

Little did he know that what I really needed was an Allegra. And his aftershave only made that need stronger.